do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
