Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
