Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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