so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
