You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
