Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
