tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I believe in your delicious
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
