Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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