But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
