You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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