So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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