He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize