Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
how does that bad decision feel?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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