after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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