You made me cry and you don't even care
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
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I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
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So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.