I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
