We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
