i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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