5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
