haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My first STD was from a foam party
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize