whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
