The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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