the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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