Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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