I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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