Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So here I am, sexting at work.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
