Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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