so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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