that's an acceptable place to lick
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
