So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
