He told me they were just razor bumps!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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