don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
