OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize