Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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