the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
