and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
