That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
