singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
