the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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