porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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