But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
