youre lurking in front of me
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
