DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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