That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
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2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize