Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
