I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Randomize
