OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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