He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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