Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He shit in the fireplace
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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