We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
