it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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