Where did you get a picture of my penis
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
