pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
