Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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