he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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