White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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