So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
