I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize