i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
