i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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