A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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