like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Dicks are not precious.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
